terdShat
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Men
The hidden half of domestic violence
Let the Cat Out of the Cradle!
Sometime ago, I wrote about sad songs.
We all know them. You can
read about it here:
http://www.shatterdmen.com/Sad%20%20Songs.htm
Of course, there are many other sad songs then we have talked about.
Another one is Cat's in the Cradle by Sandy & Harry Chapin
My child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
You see, this song is about broken relationships. You see, we can
tell what we value most by what we find time for. I ask you...are
things more important to you then people? Have you noticed that we
can often find time for those things that we want to do...that ball
game, or to go golfing? Moms...do you have time to watch that soap
on TV? Guys, when your wife ask if they can talk to you....what is
your answer? Not now dear? Ladies, how about those times your
husband wants to spend time with you? Is it off to the hairdressers?
Shattered Men is here because of broken relationships. At times these
broken relationships end up with broken bones..and almost always,
broken spirits. Both our men and our women...but most of all, our
children are often broken beyond repair. Divorce effects children
far into their adulthood. Often they feel mom and dad broke up
because of them.
And the cat's in the cradle....I wonder...I wonder if these broken
relationships are not a result of the same thing that this dad and
his son had...misplaced priorites. When two people fall in love and
get married, something had to attract them to each other. What was
it? What changed after you got married? Oh I know some people marry
someone for what they can get out of the marriage. Women marry a man
because he makes lots of money or has a title after his name. Men
marry a woman because she is a good cook or she is a "knockout"
Folks..when these are the reasons for marriage, that marriage has
little chance from the start. People change when you do not want
them to, and they refuse to change when we do.
Sad songs...And the cat's in the cradle but we can get that cat to
purring my friend. How?
The next time you child ask to talk with you...to go out and play
catch...turn of the TV. You can catch that program on reruns
anyway...or in reality is it all that important to begin with?
Set time aside for your husband or wife. Make them that special
person in your life once more. Ladies, fix his favorite food
sometime and put a note where he will find it telling him how much
you appreciate him. Guys....a loving touch works wonders. A gentle
hug from behind with a whisper of "I love you" in her ear. A note
telling how much she means to you on her pillow for her to find
perhaps along with a rose. Hand made cards are great. Something to
say...you are important to me. Parents...let your kids know this
too. Praise them when they do something good. Tell them how much
you appreciate them too. Play a favorite game with them or take each
child out for a special date with just you and them.
And the cat's in the cradle...my friend...each of us has a need to
know that we are loved. Each of us has a need to know that we make a
difference to someone else..that someone needs us. Oh, we will find
those that will put up a front...that will do all they can to force
us to back off, to reject them because this is all they have known in
their life. Remember behind every angry person, behind every hard
shell...is someone waiting to be loved...someone waiting to know that
someone cares about them. REJECTION explains this:
http://www.shatterdmen.com/Rejection.htm
Cat's in the Cradle....remember also, that which we think about most
will show our priorites...it will show what is important in our
life. My friend...when is the last time you thought about.....JESUS?
If Jesus were to talk directly to you right now...would HE tell you
the same thing HE told the church in Ephesus in Rev. 2:4....You have
left your first love? More to the point my friend...has HE ever
been your love? Oh I am certainly not talking about a romantic love
but a real agape love. You see, without a right relationship with
God...we can not have a right relationship with others. It is the
first step toward this:
http://www.shatterdmen.com/first_step.htm
My friend...is the cat in the cradle? Restore that relationship with
your wife...your husband...your child, brother, sister, mom or dad.
Life is way to short to carry the very heavy burden of bitterness and
regrett. We are not promised a tommorow...but remember...neither is
your husband or wife..your child or parent. None of us are promised
a tommorow. I have been at funerals and have often heard someone
say..."If I had only known"
My friend....if you are not in God's will, first of all...fix it.
When the church in Ephesus was told that they had left their first
love (and notic...THEY left) Jesus told them to remember where they
had fallen and repent. 1 John 1:9 tells us to confess (or simply
amit to God that we are wrong and we sinned) that HE will forgive and
clease us from all unrighteousness.
My friend, if you need help in any of these areas, please let us
know....we are here for you my friend
Next, if you have broken relationships with someone else...be a
bridge builder and reach out to them. Oh, they may not accept, but
at least you will have tried. I do need to caution you that if that
person you want to reach out to has a restraining order out on
you..DO NOT CONTACT THEM IN ANY WAY....not even through a 3rd
party. In this situation, we can only take it to the LORD in
prayer.
And the cat's in the cradle.....lets repair relationships...today.
Let us never have to say....If I had only known.....
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month