Shat  terd

Men 

The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life

The Purpose of Shattered Men

I want to remind each one of the purpose for Shattered Men.

We are here to help heal the wounds of abuse. Although we do and
will focus on men, we will not turn anyone away that is seeking help
from abuse be it physical, emotional, sexual or spiritual.

I strongly believe Shattered Men has shown many times that we can
have abused men and women working together to end ALL abuse.  We
have seen men and women come here bitter at the other gender but in
time, they have learned to reach out to each other.  They have
learned that everyone is hurt from abuse and they have started to
heal together.

We also need to realize that when a family has children in it, any
abuse on the parts of the adults will harm the children.   Children
do learn from their parents and they will often learn a lot if
EITHER mom or dad is being abused by the other.  If children are
present...any abuse from either parent to the other is also child
abuse.

This is why Shattered Men does approach BOTH sides.

Shattered Men has also been breaking the traditional mold of abuse
by asking all involved to look at their part of abuse.  We do ask
for personal accountability not to blame...but to find solutions.  I
believe that is why it works so well.  It is not our job to blame,
it is our responsibly to help resolve conflicts within our homes.
If we make troubled marriages stronger, we will make our next
generation ready to handle their problems too

Again, although we are Biblically based...we do not want to be so
heavenly minded that we drive off those seeking help from the
effects of abuse.  We want to GENTLY lead those that do not know the
LORD to HIM....and we can not do that if the majority of our post
are the same post we find in all of our CHRISTIAN groups.

If a starving person came into a rescue mission, they can not be
expected to listen to a 3 hour sermon before being fed.  We will not
do that in Shattered Men either.

I do ask those that have not yet told us about the effects abuse had
on them...to please post it.....THAT my friend...is why we are here!

We do want you to also support each other.  If you have overcome the
effects of abuse...if you have gone from victim...to over-comer, we
want to hear about that too!

From time to time, we need to remind everyone of the propose for
Shattered Men.  I think it is time for another reminder.  I have had
to delete about a dozen pending messages in the last couple of days,
not because they were not good messages, but because approving all of
them all at once would diminish the purpose this ministry exist.
Please look at the section Shattered Men is in. It is listed under
Yahoo health.  It is also listed in the domestic violence section of
the health section as as such, we need to have a balance between post
that are on subject and those that are purely devotional in nature.

I am also aware that there are some that post these devotionals that
never read the board to find out what others are saying or what the
needs are.  I would love to see each of these at least finding out
what the needs are here instead of just posting what they want to
say. While I am talking about this, I do want to thank Lee for the
messages he post but also for reading what others post and responding
to them.

In reminding everyone of the purpose of Shattered Men, I am reposting
something my daughter posted on Jan 17 because she said it so well.

Although SM is a ministry and that Ken is the founder of it,
therefore he is responsible for the subject matter, and chooses those
in leadership who will help make decisions. SM of course wants to
lead people to Christ who do not know Him.  I, for one, do not agree
with the doctrines that some do in SM, but I don't let it take me out
of SM.

Why? because SM is not a church.  A Bible study is o-f-f-e-r-e-d on
Sunday nights, and a time of praise and worship is also offered on a
fairly regular basis.  But it is not a substitute for CHURCH. (It is
a help for those who are shut-in and are for physical or emotional
reasons unable to attend a church at the time. It is a group that
offers a place of support for those who have been abused or those who
wish to help those who have been abused.  Of course, many at SM
already know Christ and know that ultimately Jesus is the answer. A
marriage or family may not be reunited, homes may not be restored
simply as a result of becoming a Christian, but becoming a Christian
will help you endure and/or overcome the trials, the heartaches, the
brokenness.  Yes, SM wants to have posts and conversations concerning
Christ.  But no, it does not require every post to be about
converting to Christianity, it doesn't mean that every paragraph has
to be about God.  Sometimes our light shines through even better to
those who are in darkness when they observe our lives, our
conversations, when they read/hear testimonies about what God has
brought us through.

As far as "canned messages" which is what I call copy/pastes that
occur consistently, are not what I want to read all the time.  I have
a wonderful church that I belong to. I hear plenty of wonderful
sermons, singing, and teaching.  I love it.  But in many services,
God's Spirit will reach out to the brokenhearted in love.  This is
what will touch hearts.  Yes, God convicts the sinner, but not
without letting them know that He offers love and forgiveness. I
belong to several Christian groups, and to be honest, some are full
of little but copy/past, and many are posted again exactly the same
in some of the other groups I am in.  I tend to delete these because
there is nothing personal in them.  SM was formed to reach out and
help people who are hurting.  The group is listed as a Yahoo Health
Group (because abuse is painful, can be debilitating, and those
abused need healing and restoration with lots of support).  Many who
come to SM are not yet saved, but many are already. Some have been
rejected by their own church or religion.  I myself had to leave my
church that I went to faithfully for over 15 yrs because I was not
able to get the spiritual help I needed.  I wasn't able to find
anyone, not even the pastor to be willing to even listen to my
concerns about my marriage, family and the abuse that I suffered in
childhood and in marriage. So, do you think those rejected by the
Church are eager to run to "Church".  A true, God-led church will not
reject them. But many which call themselves Christian or even a
Church are actually hirelings, who are not God-led.

The point I'm trying to get at is that SM is a ministry for those
abused.  If someone goes to a shelter for the homeless, some will
offer church services and try to reach those lost spiritually, but
first they will offer them food and shelter.  We at SM must be
willing to offer an ear to listen to their concerns, and offer them
hope, and even some advise at times, even if its our own testimonies,
or our stories of what happened to us. It helps to know that we aren't
freaks because of what happened to us.  It helps to know that there
are others who are dealing with the same issues, some of the same
hurts and trials. We deal with those going through separation,
divorce, custody problems. We deal with those who suffered child
abuse, elder abuse, church abuse, in general anyone who has been
abused.  We have a wonderful group of people from all walks of life
with experiences and testimonies that God has enabled us to share
with others.  SM is also here to minister to needs that may be
secular.  The issues such as parent alienation syndrome, issues like
those who have lost children by death or divorce. If we were going to
post each time about God and little else then we would need to change
our group category.  If we did that many would not come to SM because
they are hurt and angry (sometimes angry at God) and they would not
want to come here looking for help.  It takes wisdom to know when to
speak and when to be silent.

Thank you Debra. I have seen so much Spiritual growth in you since we
first met.  I am also proud of my other internet sons and daughters
and I always enjoy talking to each of you and seeing you post here
and in other groups we may be in together.  EACH of you have your own
special qualities that make you not only special in my eyes...but far
more important...special to our LORD!

ken

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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month