Shat
terd
Men
The hidden half of domestic violence
Depression and Suicide
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Common Sorrow Believers and unbelievers alike can have this. Grief is normal. Even the Holy Spirit has it.
Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
CHOSEN SORROW
We can chose sorrow and in fact, we are told to do so:
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep
We are to be saddened by unrighteousness in others:
1 Corinthians 5:2 And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.
1 Corinthians 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
1 Corinthians 13
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
If we are told that love does not do these things above, we also know we can choose to have a thankless, grumbling, complaining negative, pessimistic and hopeless spirit.
This is why Philippians 2:14 tells us: "Do all things without murmurings and
disputings:"
We can have CONSCIENCE SORROW
If we know we have said, done or even thought something that was wrong, we should have sorrow. (this is the conviction of the Holy Spirit that is intended to cause us to seek a remedy, but we can continue to do wrong long enough, this conviction will no longer be present. This is dangerous. The more we say NO! to God, the closer we come to this point. God tells us that HIS Spirit will not always strive with man. Genesis 6:3a "And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man"
Genesis 4:6 And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
Matthew 26:75 "And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly."
The physical and emotional effects of depression will often be smoothed out with thankfulness to God.
Ephesians 5:20 "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;"
Philippians 4:6 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."
Job was greatly afflicted, but he worshiped God in spite of it:
Job 1:20: "Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped"
Depression:
In response to distress, (sickness, disease, family conflict, loss of loved
ones, financial problems, abuse and a host of other things), a believer can
openly or subtly go into an unloving, ungodly route and join "uncommon
sorrow with conscience sorrow (conviction of sin) and we can chose to have a
thankless attitude toward what God allows. If this is not dealt with, it
often leads to depression and even mental disorders. The difference
between common sorrow and depression, is that sadness is out of proportion to
the distress and lasts beyond normal grief.
Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones
1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
2 Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.
3 When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.
4 For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.
5 I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
6 For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.
7 Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.
8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.
9 Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.
10 Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about.
11 Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.
Please note, that the Psalmist had to acknowledge sin before he found relief. This relief may not be from the illness or the distress, but from the effects of it. Distress does not always indicate sin in a person's life.
Psalm 38: 3: There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of my sin. 4: For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me. Verse 6 goes on to say: "I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long"
He lost his vitality, strength, health and ached because of sin in his life. When he confessed, he found peace.
When we do chose God's peace, joy and confidence it will override the brain chemical alterations. Psychologists have noted that how one thinks can alter brain chemistry. Hopelessness disables noreprinephrine receptors which cause certain kinds of depression.
Physiological factors such as medical conditions, drugs etc. may also cause chemical imbalances but we are responsible to chose the Joy of the Lord and loving attitudes.
We do have a choice to chose love, joy, confidence and to draw near to God, or we can chose unloving attitudes, guilt, conscious sorrow and fear.
The use of medications is scriptural but it is not the real answer. It will buy time until the root cause is exposed and we are able to deal with it with Scripture.
1 Timothy 5:23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.
Proverbs 31:6: Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
Now since we do have far better medications then they had then, there is no longer a need to use alcohol to do these things. Alcohol can compound depression and increase its effects. If we do not drink alcohol, we will not need to worry that we may violate scripture and be drunk with strong wine.
Isaiah 5:22-23 Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink: Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him!
TWO CATEGORIES OF SUICIDE
1: An attempt to escape physical pain, disability, and mental anguish over which one has no control. It is a refusal to accept what God has allowed in life and to believe that God is in control.
1 Kings 16:18 (Zimri burnt the king's house over him with fire, and died)
1 Samuel 31:3-5 (Saul could not accept physical pain, mental anguish, fears of abuse and humiliation. He died just as he lived, proud, jealous, and a terror to himself and others.
They died because the threat of mental anguish was greater then their trust in God. Today, terminal illness or crippling diseases coupled with a contempt for God's gift of life results in defiance, impatience, pride and rebellion. It fails to realize that there has never been an emergency meeting in Heaven where God calls a committee meeting to find out what to do because something has caught HIM by surprise. He knows what you are going through my friend...and HE does have a plan for YOU!
Another group of people chose not to live in a society that does not fit political agendas. They fall into false doctrine which tells them they will be rewarded for taking their own life while taking other's lives with them at the same time. Suicide bombers are told they will go to paradise and will have a bunch of virgins waiting for them so they often go into school yards to blow themselves up.
The ONLY "suicide I can find
that the Bible accepts is those who give their life so that others can
live. They do not chose to die, but they take the chance so that others
can live such as pushing a child out of the way of a car but not having enough
time to get out of the way themselves. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13
Others may chose to take their life to avoid being a burden to others...but in reality, that is often selfish. Many times, those that are taking care of others that may feel they are a burden, gives those taking care of them something to live for themselves. In reality, it is not a burden. It is sort of like that child that was carrying his brother and said..."Oh he is not heavy...he's my brother.
Often if one were to take their own life to relief the "burden" on someone else, that person would feel guilty and may well think about taking their own life, possibly out of false guilt for causing that person to take theirs.
The very fact that someone is taking care of one that needs a lot of care may give that person a sense of self worth. It may be enriching their life and it could well be a blessing they so very desperately need for their own life.
SUICIDE AND MENTAL DISORDERS
The lack of the love for God and or fellow man is often the root cause of mental illness and suicidal ideation but it can also be caused by other things such as trauma, poisoning as in lead or other heavy metals when one is very young or even tumors or blood clots that may be undetectable. Constant rejection especially in early childhood can also cause mental disorders. We need to remember a child would not be able to know that they can turn it over to God.
PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) is also listed as a "mental disorder" but it is seldom the fault of the person that has it. It is often the result of seeing those around you dying before your eyes and not being able to do anything about it. It almost always results in a "survivors complex" in which we wonder why they died and we were allowed to live.
PLEASE...DO NOT SECOND GUESS WHY SOMEONE MAY HAVE A MENTAL DISORDER. IF it is from unconfessed sin in their life, their history will show it. I also believe that God will reveal to those that need to know the root cause of any illness. If it is sin, that person will already know it so we do NOT need any JOB'S counselors to make their burdens heavier then they already are.
Romans 5:
3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us
James 1:
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
Suicide is a combination of unloving attitudes and an unwilliness to accept what God has allowed.
The SOLUTION.
The first step is to have a right relationship with God. This is not "religion" It is done only by knowing that we have sinned and come short of what God expects from us. Then we realize that Jesus died to pay for all of our sin and that by trusting this and asking God to credit that to our account, we will be made righteous in God's sight.
I firmly believe in the power of PRAISE. We need to learn to praise God for ALL things. Praise got Jonah out of the "whale" and it got Paul out of the jail.
Jonah 2:7: "When my soul fainted within me I remembered the LORD: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple"
God does not want a DEAD sacrifice.
Romans 12:
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living
sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your
mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God
Please notice, it is by renewing our mind that we do this...changing the way we think:
1: Suicide rejects God's offer of peace.
Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Suicide rejects God's plan for one's life:
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Suicide rejects God's design for one's life:
Psalm 139:13-16 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
Suicide rejects God's Sovereignty over one's life:
Job 14:5 Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass;
Suicide rejects God's ability to heal hurts:
Psalms 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Suicide rejects God's right to guide:
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Suicide rejects God's Role as Shepherd:
Psalms 23:
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Conclusion:
Folks, we can see that suicide rejects many of God's previsions. God does have a plan for your life. It is often not what happens that matters, it is how we handle what happens that can often lead to victory. Often victory is not evident when we first see it. When we turn our defeats over to God, HE will turn them into victory. If we do not, satan can and will turn all we do into defeat. Many of those that are depressed have hidden strongholds that have to be brought down to get this victory. Strongholds of doubt, rejection, self condemnation and others things that can only be brought down by exposing it to the light of God's word. We need to learn how to let it go.
If you do not know you have eternal life, the first step to to make sure you belong to God. When you do, He will give you the power to break these strongholds mentioned above. To be sure, click on the link above...How to have eternal life
For those who keep trying and keep failing, there is a solution. Many have contacted me to tell me they try to work for God, they try to serve HIM fully but they keep failing. If you are doing this, my suggestion....STOP working for God! STOP trying to serve HIM....and simply...FALL IN LOVE WITH JESUS!
6/4/05
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month